Boy this time change in the Spring always takes it out of me. I don't know why, but it always takes me a week before I feel back on track. And that's after getting 4 nights of good sleep. I do feel a little better today at least.
Sunday night I was too tired to get things ready for Monday morning so Ryan sweetly offered to take Hannah school so I had a little more time to get the boys and myself ready. Hannah always loves that! The boys and I went to the gym as usual. Usually my long run is on Saturdays and I rest on Sundays so I can get a hard workout in at the gym on Mondays, but since I ran 7 miles on Sunday and I could definitely feel it, I decided to swim. I ended up swimming about 40 minutes so it was still a good workout. I really enjoy swimming lately, because it's my time when I think about Dad Good. He is the one who taught me to swim so that I don't feel nauseous and dizzy every time. So when I work on my breathing and my stretch & stroke technique I always get a smile on my face. I was listening to Shania Twain's Forever and For Always song yesterday and was really missing him. Tracey had this song on his celebration of life video and there is something about that song that immediately brings a rush of emotions over me and it helps to bring back some of my favorite memories of him. I think more than anything I miss that he cannot be here for Ryan as he is going through a lot of stuff at work. Dad was always his sounding board and as obnoxious as he would get at times, Ryan always knew he had his best interest in mind. He was the only who could say "Ryan you need to do this!" and it not sound disrespectful. Believe me I tried it..it doesn't work! :) The healing and mourning process is definitely a lot harder than I would have expected. I honestly don't know how people who do not have the hope of eternal life would be able to cope with loss...it's the anchor that gets me through!
Last night we had replenish at church and after 2 months of having to miss it I finally got to go. 2 months ago Ryan came down with a migraine at the last minute. The sweet guy tried to tell me I could still go, but I can barely handle 3 kids in the evening with a normal working head (I guess I should use the word normal loosely). Then last month Jenn and I were getting ready to go and I got a call saying it was cancelled because of the snow. Well apparently I was having some hormone issues that night and right at the dinner table I started crying. What a dork! So Ryan suggested that Jenn and I at least get out, I think for his benefit as well as mine. :) So what Jenn and I had planned to do was drop some dinner off at a friends house and then go to Dinks which is an internet cafe and play some catan. What our night turned out to be was driving around for an hour and a half in the snow. We got stuck in traffic and never made it to my friends house and then we finally worked our way to Dinks to find that it was closed due to the weather and then we found out we had just missed the movies starting. So we had a snack from the gas station and headed home. I told Jenn that it may not have been fun for her, but it at least got me out of the house. :)
Replenish is a monthly women's worship and teaching at church. It is really awesome and the director of Women's ministry is soooo good! This is one of the things I am really going to miss about our church. Last night was on law vs love. It was a good message, but for those who know me I have never really struggled with being too legalistic and obeying the law much :), but it was a good reminder of how to love people.
Ryan and I just both happened to get on the Dayton's real estate web site and found that our dream home is no longer there. :( I actually thought that when that day happened I would be quite devasted, but I surprisingly am handling it ok. I know that God has another house out there for us. I do have to prepare myself for the fact that it might not be as nice, because this house had it all! But that is ok, because it is just a house and how we live in it is what will make it a home. And you never know...there might be something just as nice or even nicer than this one!
Welp room times are over...back to reality!
Sunday night I was too tired to get things ready for Monday morning so Ryan sweetly offered to take Hannah school so I had a little more time to get the boys and myself ready. Hannah always loves that! The boys and I went to the gym as usual. Usually my long run is on Saturdays and I rest on Sundays so I can get a hard workout in at the gym on Mondays, but since I ran 7 miles on Sunday and I could definitely feel it, I decided to swim. I ended up swimming about 40 minutes so it was still a good workout. I really enjoy swimming lately, because it's my time when I think about Dad Good. He is the one who taught me to swim so that I don't feel nauseous and dizzy every time. So when I work on my breathing and my stretch & stroke technique I always get a smile on my face. I was listening to Shania Twain's Forever and For Always song yesterday and was really missing him. Tracey had this song on his celebration of life video and there is something about that song that immediately brings a rush of emotions over me and it helps to bring back some of my favorite memories of him. I think more than anything I miss that he cannot be here for Ryan as he is going through a lot of stuff at work. Dad was always his sounding board and as obnoxious as he would get at times, Ryan always knew he had his best interest in mind. He was the only who could say "Ryan you need to do this!" and it not sound disrespectful. Believe me I tried it..it doesn't work! :) The healing and mourning process is definitely a lot harder than I would have expected. I honestly don't know how people who do not have the hope of eternal life would be able to cope with loss...it's the anchor that gets me through!
Last night we had replenish at church and after 2 months of having to miss it I finally got to go. 2 months ago Ryan came down with a migraine at the last minute. The sweet guy tried to tell me I could still go, but I can barely handle 3 kids in the evening with a normal working head (I guess I should use the word normal loosely). Then last month Jenn and I were getting ready to go and I got a call saying it was cancelled because of the snow. Well apparently I was having some hormone issues that night and right at the dinner table I started crying. What a dork! So Ryan suggested that Jenn and I at least get out, I think for his benefit as well as mine. :) So what Jenn and I had planned to do was drop some dinner off at a friends house and then go to Dinks which is an internet cafe and play some catan. What our night turned out to be was driving around for an hour and a half in the snow. We got stuck in traffic and never made it to my friends house and then we finally worked our way to Dinks to find that it was closed due to the weather and then we found out we had just missed the movies starting. So we had a snack from the gas station and headed home. I told Jenn that it may not have been fun for her, but it at least got me out of the house. :)
Replenish is a monthly women's worship and teaching at church. It is really awesome and the director of Women's ministry is soooo good! This is one of the things I am really going to miss about our church. Last night was on law vs love. It was a good message, but for those who know me I have never really struggled with being too legalistic and obeying the law much :), but it was a good reminder of how to love people.
Ryan and I just both happened to get on the Dayton's real estate web site and found that our dream home is no longer there. :( I actually thought that when that day happened I would be quite devasted, but I surprisingly am handling it ok. I know that God has another house out there for us. I do have to prepare myself for the fact that it might not be as nice, because this house had it all! But that is ok, because it is just a house and how we live in it is what will make it a home. And you never know...there might be something just as nice or even nicer than this one!
Welp room times are over...back to reality!
1 Comments:
Again.. another reason why I love your blogs, I didn't know that your dream house went off the market. I'm so sorry hun :( I know you said you're handleing it but it still makes me sad for you.
As for the night with the horrible snow traffic, I was cracking up remembering that. I had nearly forgotten about it honestly. Good to see you finally got to Replenish though. Sorry it wasn't an amazing one :/
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