I can't believe that tomorrow will be my last day as a resident of Lexington, KY! "It's the end of an era!!" (something for all your Friend's fans out there :) ) Since I have really only had a week to process this I have had to go through the mourning process pretty quickly and it's funny how I can really see myself phasing through each cycle. Last weekend I was so sad and was crying a lot, then the next couple of days I didn't think much about it, just kind of went through the motions in denial, and last night the anger hit me. It's all really based on selfish reasons so hopefully I get over it fast. But last night as Ryan and I were up working once again past midnight and exhausted, I was just mad that we are doing all this work to move into a shack in an ugly city with no neighbors and who knows how long we will be there. And then we get to turn around and do this again. And as I was sharing this with Ryan and telling him I was in the phase of not being excited to move, he was somewhat agreeing and saying that this is more of a sacrificial move. Well I know he meant well, but that did not help the bitterness! :) This morning as I was praying for God to give me joy and supernatural strength and energy today I was reminded of a comment I made, I think on my blog, where I said that it didn't matter what house you live in, but it's how you live in it that makes it a home. Man am I eating those words now! :) But actually after praying about it, I realized that I really do need this move, because that statement is very true and I really want to believe it. It really is just a house and that shouldn't stop us from creating memories and enjoying each other. And as my wise friend Carly has said before.."This will be a good story for the grandkids". :) Plus Ryan said that the money we will be saving can be used towards our Hawaii vacation for our 10th anniversary, so that's pretty good motivation too! I know that once I get to the acceptance phase then I will be good to go and I can do what I do best, improvise and organize!

Yesterday was actually a great day for running for me! And on a side note, I would just like to give a shout out to my friend Adderall! I may not have posted much about this and I will eventually, but I am taking this medication for adult ADD and it has been life changing and I know that if I was not on this then there is no way I would have been able to go and workout because I would have been too obessessed with packing. So anyhoo, I did my usual Wednesday 4-5 mile run on the track, which is crazy to think that I run 80 times around that thing, but I just got burned out on the treadmill and needed to do something else and when Ryan is gone, I can't run outside so you do what you gotta go. I am a pretty slow runner and since I do the run/walk thing my times are even slower. I usually run an average mile time of 12.5 - 13 minutes, but since the track is flat, I can usually run a little under a 12 minute average mile time. Well yesterday I ran/walked the first 4 miles with an average mile time of 11 minutes which was a good accomplishment at that, but then my runner's high kicked in and I wanted to see how fast I could run that last mile and I did in 9 minutes!!!! I love saying that...9 minutes!!! I have not run a 9 minute mile since high school. I wanted to puke, but I felt awesome and was totally praising God!! And then the icing on the cake was this sweet older man walked by me when I was cooling down and he took his head phones off and asked "how far did you run?" and I panted "5 miles" and he gave me the great job fist shake and said "Good for you!" :)

And then in the locker room I was listening to the elderly ladies talking as I often do because the conversations are always so amusing, but this lady gave a quote that I will remember for long time. She was telling this lady about how she is taking prednizone to start her treatment and wasn't very happy about it because it makes her hungry and gain weight, but then she shrugged her shoulders and said in such a matter of fact and almost positve tone, "But when you're dying you'll do anything the doctor tells you to do. If he said you need to stick raisons up your nose and wear a banana on your head then I would say, 'ok I'm heading to the market'". I just hope that if I am at the stage of life I can have that attitude!

Welp I better stop procrasinating and get some more packing done. Tonight I am going to starbucks with the girls, so I need to haul a today. It was very sweet of them to want to do this and I know I'll be a mess, but it will be a great way to end the week. It will be somewhat anti-climatic since I'll see them in 2 weeks for Olivia's party, but I can't wait.

Oh I do have one more thing....Hannah is being so sweet through this whole thing. Her and I are actually going through a lot of the same emotions which I think is helping her. She has 2 good friends at her school, Elise and utPallini and is always talking about them. Well last night she was getting sad again about leaving and said "But mommy...I want Elise to come to my 5 year birthday party...but when she comes here for the party she is going to come here and look in the window and see someone else living here!" Doesn't it just break your heart?!

Ok work time and loosey goosey breakfast time! The kids are liking packing week for that reason...lots of movies!

We've had quite the week which is why it is taking me so long to post. I have a lot to catch up on, but the main thing I wanted to write is that we are moving in 6 days! Yes you heard that correctly...6 days. And when did we find out we were moving you may be wondering...about 3 days ago.

Here's the short, but not so short story of how it unfolded...as most may know we put our house up for sell about 9 months ago when we found out that Ryan was being transferred to Ohio. Then about 6 months ago, Ryan's boss had told us that he would buy our house if we found renters so we put some ads out in different places for that as well. Since then things have changed financially for his boss and we knew that he probably wasn't able to buy our house anymore so we didn't pursue the renter thing anymore, but we never took the sign down in our yard. A couple just happen to come by our open house last weekend and saw the for rent and for sale sign and said they were looking for a possible rent to own house. Well they came back a second time and really loved it and wanted to rent it. We weren't sure what to do because we knew we couldn't buy a house without selling ours first, but then my parents (who live an hour from Ryans' work which was at least 2 hours closer) had so graciously offered to let all 5 of us live with them for a few months. I made sure they knew what they were getting themselves into and they still offered. It was so great of them! That was going to be our plan and then we found out that Ryans' boss has a house for sell in Springfield that his daugther used to live in, but was having no luck selling it, so he decided to take it off the market and is letting us stay there rent free until we figure out what God's next step is for us. We are hoping that this couple will buy our house in a few months or maybe we'll be able to save enough for a down payment on a house...who really knows! It's not exactly how I had pictured all of this working out, but it really is a blessing in so many ways. Now we will be 20 minutes from Ryan's work and we will finally be a family 7 days a week again and we will be able to save a lot of money in the mean time. The house is smaller than what we have now and it's not in our favorite area, but we figured we could put up with it for a while. Well the couple that will be renting our house really needs to be in it by the beginning of April, so that means we are moving next weekend! We went from waiting for 9 months for our house to sell to basically having a week's notice that we need to move. It's a bit of whirlwind and I'm definitely having a hard time grasping it. The packing won't be too hard since we already have so much packed up trying to clean out our house to show it, but it's the part of not really being able to have a whole lot of closure. At church on Saturday I cried through most of the service because it hit me that it will be the last time we call that church home, and that it was the last time with our life group which we have been a part of for 8 years. I'm definitely overwhelmed. The first couple of days I would just start crying randomly throughout the day, but now I'm getting a little excited at our new adventure and I know God has a plan in all of this and I am excited to see how it unfolds! Hannah is actually taking it quite well. We've talked a lot about how it's ok to be sad and excited at the same time. I know she'll miss her friends and school, but I think she understands that this means we will to have daddy 7 days a week now! I told her that we will have 2 new houses and she is really loving that! She says she wants her room to be a green tinkerbell room in the first house and a pink Ariel room in the second. :)

That's definitely the big news this week...a brief catch up... we finally made it up to Ryan's mom's house last weekend after being snowed in the weekend before. We had a great visit and the kids were very excited to see Nonni! Nonni, Hannah and I went to see Horton Hears a Who at the movie theater and that was so much fun! It was Hannah's first time seeing a movie at a theater and of course she loved it! Great idea Nonni!

My half-marathon training is going good.. I ran 8 miles yesterday! It was the farthest I have run in my whole life, so it was a pretty big accomplishment I thought. I ran about 7.5 in high school for cross-country, so this topped that! I have been dreading the runs, but once I get out there I feel pretty good. I have been listening to the last sermon series at our church and that has really helped get my mind off of the running part. I have been telling everyone I know to listen to this series. It was a really awesome one and had some great practical steps to getting closer to God and walking out the christian life. Here is the link to hear them or you may be able to get the podcasts for your ipod or mp3 player.... http://www.southlandchristian.org/series.php?id=162&a=1&s=644

We had a pretty laid back Easter....Saturday I took Hannah to an easter egg hunt and it was freezing! We had our spring jackets on and it was sooo windy. Hannah only got about 5 eggs because she said her hands hurt from the cold. I know I'm a bit on the competitive side, but I gotta be honest...I think easter egg hunts with empty plastic eggs isn't really that fun. I guess our church is so big that the time involved in checking everything that goes into the eggs was too much work so now they just throw some empty eggs out and then you get a goody bag. Maybe if the weather was nicer it would have been more fun, but I think we both could have done without it. :) Easter morning was pretty usual...Ryan stayed out late playing halo with Donny since it was going to be their last so I let him sleep in and then we put the kids up for room time and hid their baskets and eggs (with candy inside). We did the same thing we did last year which seems to work out good. Hannah's eggs were pink and purple, Caleb's were orange and yellow and Joshua's (all 4 of them that we just put in the middle of the room) were green. That way they knew only to pick up the eggs that were their color. They had a fun time and the loved their baskets! I went a bit overboard this year and they were pretty full, but I mainly did it because i was trying to find some boy stuff for Caleb which he still doesn't have a lot of. Of course he did get a little ariel doll from the dollar store as well. Hannah got one a month or so ago and I was tired of all the fighting over it, so I gave Caleb his own. I don't think Ryan was too happy about that, especially since he doesn't choose to carry around his little spiderman guy or his planet hero guy..nope now he has his big Ariel plush doll (which used to be Hannah's, but in a kind moment she gave it to Caleb and now he takes it everywhere) and his little Ariel. But he does like his guys at least! I think it's cute and as long as he's still not sleeping with the doll when he's 16, I'm not too worried about it yet.

Welp I've blogged too long now...time to get something done before the kids wake up. Until next time!

Yesterday morning we had to say our weekly goodbye to Ryan. I always miss him, but after such a good weekend with him and the kids I was really bumming. :( This week instead of New Carlisle, he had to drive 8 hours to Richmond, VA with just him and this 40 yr old lady from the Ohio office that he doesn't know very well. Needless to say he wasn't too excited about it, but I told him maybe this will make his usual Wed evenings of hanging out with his boss's kids and grandkids not seem so bad. :) He gets back late on Thursday in Dayton so he will just stay up there and we will meet him in Cincinnati. Which that means once again I get to pack everything up by myself and get our house ready for our open house. yay me! :) It's really not too bad, especially since our house is pretty clean since we thought our open house was last weekend. I just like the sympathy. :P

Last night I did my exercise video again with the kids which has become a fun weekly activity. I am not very motivated to do an hour video during naps when I only get about 1 1/2 hrs so I figured out a way to turn it into family fun time and the kids so far have actually bought it! :) I usually bring the musical instruments in and they are my band and I also give them a snack or dinner and they watch a video on the little tv. They love climbing up and down the step and trying to do the moves. Hannah's favorite are the push-ups and last night she was getting pretty good at the squat kicks. They were not happy that they could not play with my weights and sculpting stick, so a few weeks ago I got the divine inspiration to roll up construction paper and tape it and make them their own "weights". They each have 1 long one and 1 short one so they can also have a stick. It is hard sometimes to not to stop and just watch them lift them over their heads and Caleb likes to give a little grunt sometimes to really work those muscles..it's actually quite fun and motivating since they actually look forward to it. Caleb found this wavy stick thing that goes on our exersaucer last week and ever since will go over to the tv and say "mommy ex-cer-shise" (he pronounces every syllable). He wants me to exercise so he can use it as a weight. He got to use it last night, but didn't seem all that impressed with it. oh well!

After a dinner of tortillas and carrots (Hannah's favorite as of last week according to a poll taken at her school), we played hide-and-seek. Ryan had warned me that the game has progressed from actually counting and hiding to Hannah and Caleb counting with their eyes open and then Ryan would chase them and say "why are you counting with your eyes open!?" and they would run and squeal. And lo and behold that is what happened. And then Joshua just runs around laughing trying to figure out what's going on. It was a lot fun and I also really loved that Ryan had an inside scoop to something about the kids that I didn't. Sometimes I feel bad since I am with the kids so much more lately that he feels left out on what's going on so it was great that they had a special game they play.

Oh and speaking of the favorite meal poll at Hannah's school....Hannah often comes home and tells us how this kid named Ben was mean to her. I guess he will stick his tongue out at her and make goofy noises. We try to explain that he is just having fun, but she is apparently not amused by it. I pray that will be the worst anyone ever treats her! So you can sort of imagine what this little boy is probably like...a little rambunxious and probably a fun one for the teachers. Well Hannah brought home this list where the teacher had asked everyone what their favorite foods were and then wrote them down. Most kids had some sort of dinner food (spaghetti, mac and cheese, etc) and maybe a fruit or veggie. Well what foods were next to Ben's? Blueberry muffins and strawberry cake. I think that explains it all! :)

Watched American Idol last night. Wow what a complete disappointment that was! It was Lennon/McCartney night which should have been amazing and only a few people did anything worth listening to again. It was fun talking to my dad during commercials though critiquing everyone. We always have fun chats about music. Shakesi (sp?) is the one that took me by surprise. Where did he come from?! He did a great job. I also loved Brooke White's let it be and David Cook's song. David Archuletto was a huge disappointment, but the poor kid had so much pressure on him that it was probably good that people see that he's not a superhuman. Jason Castro, one of my favorites, did a decent job, but nothing like his song last week, Halleluah. Wow that song was amazing. I then discovered a version of that song by Allsion Crowe. It's been my favorite song lately. I honestly don't really understand what exactly the song is about, but it seems to be about the life of David from the bible and it just brings on this feeling of complete brokenness in the presence of the Almighty! Here is the link if any one wants to watch it.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=vIMOdVXAPJ0

Well for those of you who have actually taken the time to read my "books" the last few days..thanks! Sorry they are so long, but it's been fun actually getting down what goes on in my days. Have a blessed one!

Boy this time change in the Spring always takes it out of me. I don't know why, but it always takes me a week before I feel back on track. And that's after getting 4 nights of good sleep. I do feel a little better today at least.

Sunday night I was too tired to get things ready for Monday morning so Ryan sweetly offered to take Hannah school so I had a little more time to get the boys and myself ready. Hannah always loves that! The boys and I went to the gym as usual. Usually my long run is on Saturdays and I rest on Sundays so I can get a hard workout in at the gym on Mondays, but since I ran 7 miles on Sunday and I could definitely feel it, I decided to swim. I ended up swimming about 40 minutes so it was still a good workout. I really enjoy swimming lately, because it's my time when I think about Dad Good. He is the one who taught me to swim so that I don't feel nauseous and dizzy every time. So when I work on my breathing and my stretch & stroke technique I always get a smile on my face. I was listening to Shania Twain's Forever and For Always song yesterday and was really missing him. Tracey had this song on his celebration of life video and there is something about that song that immediately brings a rush of emotions over me and it helps to bring back some of my favorite memories of him. I think more than anything I miss that he cannot be here for Ryan as he is going through a lot of stuff at work. Dad was always his sounding board and as obnoxious as he would get at times, Ryan always knew he had his best interest in mind. He was the only who could say "Ryan you need to do this!" and it not sound disrespectful. Believe me I tried it..it doesn't work! :) The healing and mourning process is definitely a lot harder than I would have expected. I honestly don't know how people who do not have the hope of eternal life would be able to cope with loss...it's the anchor that gets me through!

Last night we had replenish at church and after 2 months of having to miss it I finally got to go. 2 months ago Ryan came down with a migraine at the last minute. The sweet guy tried to tell me I could still go, but I can barely handle 3 kids in the evening with a normal working head (I guess I should use the word normal loosely). Then last month Jenn and I were getting ready to go and I got a call saying it was cancelled because of the snow. Well apparently I was having some hormone issues that night and right at the dinner table I started crying. What a dork! So Ryan suggested that Jenn and I at least get out, I think for his benefit as well as mine. :) So what Jenn and I had planned to do was drop some dinner off at a friends house and then go to Dinks which is an internet cafe and play some catan. What our night turned out to be was driving around for an hour and a half in the snow. We got stuck in traffic and never made it to my friends house and then we finally worked our way to Dinks to find that it was closed due to the weather and then we found out we had just missed the movies starting. So we had a snack from the gas station and headed home. I told Jenn that it may not have been fun for her, but it at least got me out of the house. :)

Replenish is a monthly women's worship and teaching at church. It is really awesome and the director of Women's ministry is soooo good! This is one of the things I am really going to miss about our church. Last night was on law vs love. It was a good message, but for those who know me I have never really struggled with being too legalistic and obeying the law much :), but it was a good reminder of how to love people.

Ryan and I just both happened to get on the Dayton's real estate web site and found that our dream home is no longer there. :( I actually thought that when that day happened I would be quite devasted, but I surprisingly am handling it ok. I know that God has another house out there for us. I do have to prepare myself for the fact that it might not be as nice, because this house had it all! But that is ok, because it is just a house and how we live in it is what will make it a home. And you never know...there might be something just as nice or even nicer than this one!

Welp room times are over...back to reality!

Had a really fun weekend with the family. We were supposed to go up and see Ryan's mom, but we got snowed in. It was quite a bummer not getting up there, but since we had nothing planned it ended up being a pretty relaxing weekend, plus we still get to look forward to seeing mom this coming weekend! The kids got to play in the snow a couple of times. I only got a few pics because my camera fell in the snow and wouldn't turn on. I'm sure it will be fine once it completely dries, but I did miss some cute photo ops! :(
We were supposed to have an open house this past weekend, but with all the snow and us not leaving town we decided to reschedule it for this coming weekend. Since it is now going on 9 months with no bites, I decided the house needed yet another overhaul. I had Ryan find our paint and touched up the walls and the trim and washed all the white walls and any spots I could find on the other walls. Since our garage already has 1 side filled with boxes, I decided a few more wouldn't hurt so I went through our closets yet again and packed away anything that I didn't think we would be using. Of course I did that 9 months ago thinking we would be moving in a month and have since had to unpack boxes. :) But at least it showed me that we actually do use the stuff! We are going to get our carpets cleaned again this week, so our house will be looking pretty good I think! We at least have had a few people come look at it recently. The first 6 months we had 1 phone call. Usually when people think of their faith being tested, it's usually with big traumatic things in their life, but this selling of our house has surprisingly been a huge test of faith for me. I thought I was doing so good...I found out we had to uproot our family and leave our amazing church and great friends we have come to love and move to one of the ugliest cities in Ohio. After the first initial sting I thought 'Ok God, let's do this! I know you have big plans for us up there!". Well I just thought those plans would start happening a lot sooner than they did. And then when we found out that Ryan had to be gone 3 nights/week, I thought "Ok God, I'm sure you don't want us doing this for too long", but here we are 5 months later and we are still here. But this little inconvenience (which took me a while to realized how very little it really is) has been such a faith builder. It has taught me even more to wait on God and to trust that He really is going to work for our good. I tend to be a bit of a control freak (I'm sure some of you are thinking, 'who Michelle? No way! ;) ) and when I make a decision to do something I want it done NOW, but sometimes there really is good that comes from waiting. During these past 9 months while waiting...
~ Hannah has been able to go almost a whole semester to school where I thought she would only get a month or so and she is absolutely loving it
~ I have been able to work out at the gym 3 mornings a week to train for my half marathon and it's been such a blessing!
~ we have been able to keep attending our church which we will miss greatly
~ we have been able to help our friends get through some rough times with their son.
~ Ryan gets to spend a little time with his mom each week when he goes up there and I know that it means so much to her and to Ryan.
~ Because Ryan and I don't get to see each other much, it has really taught us how to better communicate and cherish our times together.
This is really such a small list. God has been so faithful to us and I can now say that I am so thankful for this wait and no matter how long we have to wait, I know it's because He has a reason for it and when we do get up to Ohio I know he will have big plans for us there too. He may even change my heart and I may find Dayton a beautiful and wonderful city! (that may be pushing it, but nothing is impossible with God right?)

Other tidbits...~ Jamie and I ran 7 miles yesterday at the gym since the roads were still pretty slushy. It felt so good to be able to say that I ran over half the distance! I wish Jamie and I ran at the same pace so we could do our long runs every week together, but she runs about 2min/mile faster than me. It made the time go so fast and it was great being able to chat with her since we are both so busy lately.~ Josh has his 15 month checkup tomorrow and he may need to get tubes. I really don't mind if he does, because he has been a bit crabby lately and if that would help him feel better than please bring it on!
I think that's all for now.

Well after over a year of no activity I have decided it is time to start blogging again. I have tried the journaling thing and I realize that I actually think and type a lot better than I type and write so this is really going to be my own personal journal about what is going on in my day, but my sister talked me into putting it out on my blog so that those of you who I don't get to talk to a lot can get a glimpse of our life...I know mostly to hear how my chickies are doing I'm sure..not about Ryan and I. :) I am going to work on a brief recap of has been happening to us this past year and post it later, but just wanted to get the ball rolling at least.

The kids have been so sweet lately I just want to eat them up! Of course they have their moments, but for the most part they have all been getting a long so well and really respecting each other. Caleb of course mimics just about anything Hannah does. Sometimes it bothers her, but I just remind her that he does that because he loves her and wants to be like her and then she kind of digs it I think.

I only have a few minutes, but I wanted to share a story that Ryan told me and it made me so proud! I guess at dinner last week when I wasn't home, Ry and the kids were at the table and the conversation went something like this...

Hannah - "Caleb do you want to go to heaven?"
Caleb - "Yeah"
H - "Ok then you need to ask Jesus to live in your heart. Pray like me....Jesus"
C - "JiJi"
H - "Come and live in my heart"
C - "caba data by hat"

My little evangelist! As some of you probably already know about a year ago or so our sweet little girl told us that why she was in her room she asked Jesus into heart and now she's going to heaven. It was completely unprompted and spontaneous and boy did it give my faith a boost! Ever since then she's been the little evangelist asking people if they have Jesus in their heart.

I have to say though, the best witnessing tip she can teach us is to make sure the person cannot get away. This past Christmas at Mom Good's house she proceeding to knock on the bathroom door while Uncle Matt was "preoccupied" and yelled "Uncle Matt, have you asked Jesus in your heart?" and we hear this low "yeah". Definitely will go down as one of my top funny memories.

Well my timer went off so my blogging time is over. I will be recapping on a lot of stories as I remember them more because I want to make sure I have them in writing so I don't forget them years from now, so if anything your read sparks a memory please leave me a comment so I can get it down.

Cleaning time!